Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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I look really handsome in my mirror, only to find myself looking weird in other mirrors, and like a total retard at photographies.

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Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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Try to fly by jumping and then discover you can't

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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Use the 0.3141592653589793238462643383279502884 second rule

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Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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I see some one I have a crush on in the hallway and I walk towards them and brush my arm against them and be like OMG I TOUCHED HER!

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when I have an itch on my hand I scratch it with my stubble

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Looking outside the window and imagining a huge explosion destroy everything and then u surviving and trying to find a way to survive

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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make mini paper airoplanes in boring lessons and pretend you are flying them

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Getting really ticked off when Wikipedia tells you the ending of a book in the introduction. And the thing is that you don't even see it coming! Ex. My Sister's Keeper is about a family struggling with its own internal problems, especially with the oldest daughter having leukemia and the youngest is the only one who may or may not save her. *name* dies in the end. WTF?

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something happens with a person that u were close to but then they become an asshole, u get mad, and when u stop talking feel really depressed even though u hate them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.