My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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This song will not come out of my head!

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sing like a pro in da shower

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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wonder who wrote these things

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

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close one eye or the other to move an object near by when I'm bored -Noel

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.