Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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I somtimes think about what I would o if I had a wish and I go into a lot of detail about it in my head and then realize it will never actually happen

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I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.