when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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I eat ass

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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Poop naked.

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Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.

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I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

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Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.