When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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At school I go along with the norm even though inside I HATE it!!!!

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put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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i always fall in my imaginations. whenever i think of something, e.g me walking to my room, i'd fall on my way there. what's wrong with me.....

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

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Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

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start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

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Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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i have my own way of eating every chocolate bar i eat, layer by layer

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when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.