Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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When I'm in the shower, I talk to myself, usually about my plans for video game procedures.

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

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i see almost everything as a sign

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Before posting a comment when you need several consecutive tries to type the words in the box because the lettering is so damn hard to read. But your friend can do it in one try. He got the easy one.

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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wen on this website go look at the most disliked

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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One time I went to my old primary school and while I was there I needed the toilet. So I go use the schools and was shocked at how small everything was I guess because I haven't been there in a while

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When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.