when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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Trace the letters on the front of your textbooks with your finger.

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Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

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Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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I play video games with the controller under the covers.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.