check shower for murder then pee

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

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I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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look at bins as i walk past them

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.