Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

Pretend my life is a videogame.

Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

I rehearse arguments in my head.

Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.

Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.