thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

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THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.