Brake for tail-gaters

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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look at bins as i walk past them

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Having gay sex

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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listen to madonnas new album

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.