- Things You Think Only You Do

If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! end of special message just for you

Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.