Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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Only use the left earphone.

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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My parents are annoying.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.