- Things You Think Only You Do

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

only read the short jokes on this website

I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.