When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

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Mayada stupid

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.