I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.