When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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listen to madonnas new album

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.