I Masturbate Daily.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.