put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.