Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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I gotta get down of Friday

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.