I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.