I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Poo really loud

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Waste time looking all over for something and notice it is right where it should be.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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speak proper english

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Being fat

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.