Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.