Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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Talks to yourself in your head then replies to yourself out loud nikki

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.