Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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humiliating little girls

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.