When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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I check behind the the shower curtin before I use the bathroom at night.

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When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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At times I get the annoying habbit of counting the notes on a song on my fingers, again and again until it ends with five, if not, I keep doing it until it does so as to not leave a finger left out of the melody.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.