When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

thumb_up thumb_down +25

When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

thumb_up thumb_down +21

make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

thumb_up thumb_down +3

hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.