Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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Ur mum

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.