Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Ur mum

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.