I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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I was the real Stig...

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.