think that you are wasting way too much time on this website and that you could be exercising right now or be doing a million more productive things than righting about doing more productive things on things you think only you do.

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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Mayada stupid

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.