Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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Look at my poop before flushing

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I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.