I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Mayada stupid

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.