When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Be a loner at school

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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I hold my breath in elevators

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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I was the real Stig...

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.