take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.