I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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I push the door open with my stomach

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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I read the down voted posts

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.