Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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Tear up when I poop

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.