Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.