Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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I never feel bored

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.