When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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check shower for murder then pee

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.