I mean Diana Ross.

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.