Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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Saving some leftovers of your favorite food .... the next week its still there (:

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.