(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.