Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.