Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.