Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.