Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.