I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

thumb_up thumb_down +10

i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I hold my breath in elevators

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

thumb_up thumb_down -48

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.