thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Picking my nose.

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.