I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.