When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.