Justin Beiber is a woman

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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I **** with no hands.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.