(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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fap

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Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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Picking my nose.

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.