How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.