Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

thumb_up thumb_down -34

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

thumb_up thumb_down -44

While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

thumb_up thumb_down -46

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.