after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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I have a phobia of incest

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.