When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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I hit the frig after sex

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.