- Things You Think Only You Do

Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

Picking your dogs booger for him/her

When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

the power to regenerate your appendix

If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.