I wonder if elections are rigged?

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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I always think I have special powers

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.