Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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Sitting down in the shower

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.