Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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You or someone you know has a secret crush/liking but the always shout it to the world. My sister does that.(It's why I ask)

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.