When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

thumb_up thumb_down -73

When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

thumb_up thumb_down -85

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down -105

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

thumb_up thumb_down -111

when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

thumb_up thumb_down -119

I have a phobia of incest

thumb_up thumb_down -127

I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -129

If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.