Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.