When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.