Being fat

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.