- Things You Think Only You Do

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

i masturbate with my feet

When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

make south park refferences every day

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.