when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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I **** with no hands.

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.