If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.