Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

I have autofocus in my eyes.

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

Put my hands together the 'other' way

The older I get the more honest I get

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.