Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.