- Things You Think Only You Do

I don't read the terms of service.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.