When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.