getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.