- Things You Think Only You Do

Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

Ur mum

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

I rehearse arguments in my head.

Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.