Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.