When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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Boinked my neighbor

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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when i was i kid i use to do the balloon trick where you rubit on your head then when there is enough put it on a wooden floor and while it's followin me i put my hands out and pretended that i was controlling it

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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I feel no shame that I am a camgirl online and bring in about $2800 a month just to flash guys my boobs. :)

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.