I Masturbate Daily.

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Do a light cough when in the toilet when there isn't no lock on the door so Ur stop someone walking in!!!

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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check shower for murder then pee

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Always cover yourself in the bathroom mirror at home because you have this strange feeling that people at school are all watching you through your mirror~pls tell me im not the only one who ever feels this~oh well

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Have deja vu while talking to someone and then stop listening to what they are saying for a few seconds till the feeling passes, then nod like you have been listening the whole time.

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.