If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Sometimes I make awkward eye contact with strangers. And I quickly look away. And then I look back. And then look away again. And I keep being compelled to stare awkwardly at the random stranger for no reason.

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Put ear buds in nose, open mouth, instant speaker. If you don't do it try it.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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Thinking about what other poeple are doing right now... Like someone solving world hunger and your sitting there playing games and having fun with friends that are nice and healthy.

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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Every new years eve I like to watch the date on my computer change all three the day, the month, and the year

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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Act as if you don't notice her, but you really are dying to take another look at her.

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftcodes.info <

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

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Write my own music without literally writing it on something even though I'm only grade 3

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I tell inanimate objects what to do.

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when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.