I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

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disgusted by people that are obsessed with poo and pee

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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Sitting on a table at school and looking at the things u only think i do website

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Try to see nipples through body paint.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

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When I'm in the shower, I talk to myself, usually about my plans for video game procedures.

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

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Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

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Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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draw pictures on the mirror from the shower steam

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.