Thinking about different guys and how they would be in bed, then thinking im a slut for thinking it...

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When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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watch cartoons even though most of my friends don't

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When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

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sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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dont wash hands for the recommended 30 seconds

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open the fridge A eat food B think

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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In school trying to do a small fart because it really hurting and suddnly a earthquake happens

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

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Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

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sneeze without closing my eyes

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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When a teacher at school leaves a line of pen on the big whiteboard, my attention can NOT be drawn from it.

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.