I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

thumb_up thumb_down -62

I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

thumb_up thumb_down -66

try to count down when the school be is going to ring.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

thumb_up thumb_down -80

when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

thumb_up thumb_down -106

Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I type a comment here and secretly feel special

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Getting bored when a page is loading and scrolling the wheel on your mouse back and forth one click.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Thinking about different guys and how they would be in bed, then thinking im a slut for thinking it...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

wonder if the strange thing you're doing right now will pop up on this website

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Thinking you can do parkour even when you cant and the have a friend over and try to show off

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I sleep in my underpants every single night

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.