Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I often think I have the greastest taste in everything

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I tell inanimate objects what to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I randomly highlight stuff when I'm reading something, only to click outside of the text so I can actually read it.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Hold your breath when you go in bridge tunnels and compete against your friends to see who can last longer.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I bought a ps4 and really regret it.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

read some comments here and wonder if people really do that

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Ever played the sims, then wondered if you were just apart of a game and that maybe someone is controlling YOUR every move? Yeah. Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Am i the only one who noticed that the title of this page has a grammatical error?

thumb_up thumb_down -51

When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Rinse off salted nuts before eating them

thumb_up thumb_down -75

after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I constantly get itches. On awkward parts of my body. In public places. And it's torture.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

When realizing i'm being a little bitchy, I laugh and smile right after my sentence to make myself seem a little nicer.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I like to swallow great ammounts of water just to make the loud "clunk" sound in my throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.