When something you're sat on makes a noise that sounds like a FART. So you try and do the noise again, to make sure people are aware that the noise was the chair and not you!

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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Waking up @ 4 AM wondering where your pillow went

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after a shower, try to shake the water off.

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Not being able to balance in heels because the insides are smothered in foot sweat. -_-

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Touching your nipples at night wondering if anyone else wanted to touch them all day :)

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whenever you walk into the bathroom with your phone/laptop/electronic device you stay sitting on the toilet even though you are done because you are so engaged with whatever you are doing

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realize you are saying your thoughts outloud.

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I can't drink while I'm walking I have to stop.

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Daydream about doing unspeakable things(killing, raping, beating, cutting, shooting, ect.) to the person you hate

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I cannot f***ing believe how many of these i do... and now i feel out of place

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Pee in the garbage at night when I don't want to wake the whole house up.

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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When you are looking over someones shoulder and they look at you thinking you are staring at them so you suddenly turn your head

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

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I put big spaces in between comments

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When you drop something and then drop it again as soon as you start picking it up

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

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When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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Play Minecraft

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In britain,everytime i see a magpie i got to do this silly ritual and salute and say good morning mr magpie (depending on wat time of day it is) and make sure 2 ppl see it at the same time or something bad will happen.then someone will tell me another one i should do and i add it on! Its never ending.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.