Touching your nipples at night wondering if anyone else wanted to touch them all day :)

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Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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On Youtube. Moving the mouse cursor over the video thumbnails thinking it will display different snap shots from the video. And realizing what a guy I am...

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I don't care about gender stereotypes. Moral: If I want to like Pink unicorns I will like them!

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Fart at home

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Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

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Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

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When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

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I make a conversation with myself when looking at mirrors !

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Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

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When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

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In britain,everytime i see a magpie i got to do this silly ritual and salute and say good morning mr magpie (depending on wat time of day it is) and make sure 2 ppl see it at the same time or something bad will happen.then someone will tell me another one i should do and i add it on! Its never ending.

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Before I sing in the car, I always have to make sure I haven’t accidently butt-dialed anyone. –Ikka

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I sometimes have bad dreams that for some reason I don't want to wake up from because I just want to see what happens next

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After going to the bathroom, flush the toilet than hurry out of the bathroom and walk fast past a certain line going across the floor or make an imaginary line on the floor before the toilet fully flushes.

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Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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I have had a dream where my teeth fall out.

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I rearrange books, movies, etc. in the correct alphabetical order in the fiction section of my public library, other people's houses, classrooms at school, etc. Sometimes this process takes a very long time.

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When ever my boyfriend doesn't reply to a text for a few hours I always imagine a worse case scenario and end up crying hystaricaly.

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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When in class, hoping that I do not get boner right before bell rings/called up.

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look at old toys from when you were a kid and remember how they taste.

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When I'm sleeping, I turn and my bed shakes, and I wake up thinking it's an earthquake.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.