Pee in the shower.

I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

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At night when alone in my bed...I sometimes pretend like I got hit by a car or something, and my loved one is there with me...and I act out my last words...and how I would act. I've done this occasionally since I was 5. With different scenario's. Schmee

when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...

bounce when your tip toeing.

When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

I rearrange books, movies, etc. in the correct alphabetical order in the fiction section of my public library, other people's houses, classrooms at school, etc. Sometimes this process takes a very long time.

Sometimes I kiss my hand and pretend it's a person I like.

Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning

setting your alarm early so that when you wake up you see you still have time to sleep and you're like YES!!!

Say what even when u heard someone

At the peak of orgasm, i used to think that im making out with someone else (like my crush) to make me cum.

Smelling your armpits to see if you smell and then disguising at as yawn/stretch

When i play a video game and make some stupid noobish action including suiciding or playing in a lame way, i make sure that if somehow someone sees my screen, he/she notices why i do so.

Every room I go into I imagine like there's one of those DVD screen savers that bounces off the walls and i try to guess when it will hist a corner perfectly

I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

When I remember something embarrassing I did or even something someone else did, I will yell random words. It started just with gasping but now I have like 5 words that I'll say randomly. It's evolved to include stressful or disturbing thoughts and not just embarrassing things. I have a pretty stressful life so I'm basically continuously making random sounds then looking around terrified that someone's heard.

I use two pillows as I sleep, but I don't put them under my head, I put my head in between them.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.