Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Sometimes I kiss my hand and pretend it's a person I like.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I use two pillows as I sleep, but I don't put them under my head, I put my head in between them.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

When I let water out the bath I swish the water so it makes a little whirlpool

thumb_up thumb_down -39

After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Okay so probably like everyone else, when Schapelle Corby was found with drugs on her in bali I thought she was innocent but now since she was let out of the prison I am wondering if she did do it?

thumb_up thumb_down -101

I talk to myself while playing games so I don't feel lonley!

thumb_up thumb_down -127

i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

thumb_up thumb_down +94

Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I always think I have special powers

thumb_up thumb_down -22

KICK THE CAN

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

get home from work and masturbate instantly

thumb_up thumb_down -34

sit in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Getting that huge shiver when you take a really good pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Spinning around to get dizzy, then spinning the other way to try and undo it.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

When they say the name of the movie in the movie i get excited o.O

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

thumb_up thumb_down -17

when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When the car ride is silent, I wink with my right eye when I pass a sign on the right, and the opposite for the left. And then when there's a double yellow line, I close my eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.