Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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Whenever I order a lot of food at a fast food place for myself, I order an extra drink just so they think it's for two people.

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I look for comments in this site that are on or close to 0 so that when i like or dislike them, i make a difference to the outcome :)

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Like a toy until it breaks.

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Sometime i'll see someone or something like a person or a car and visualize a big meteorite smashing then out of nowhere.

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Reach past the first two or three slices of bread to get the better, fresher bread towards the middle.

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I think SpongeBob and Patrick are rude, inconsiderate a_holes. ... That's right, I'm an adult and I watch SpongeBob. lol

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draw the sun at the corner of the page

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Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

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After reading certain things on this website, I try them to see if they work.

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pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

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Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

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Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

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I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

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clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

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Turn the light off, run, and JUMP into bed. I'm 26.

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When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

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Things I did when I was little: Slowly close the fridge door to see the light go out before it is closed all of the way. Put the light switch in between "OFF" and "ON". Walked in to a room and forgot why, walked out then remembered. (STILL DO!) Drew the sun in the corner of the paper. Put a flashlight in your mouth to see yourself, "blush".

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When I'm at the checkout and paying with my card, I try to put my PIN in the card machine before the cashier has a chance to tell me to do it.

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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Thinking our singing voices are amazing, until we record it and play it back.

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whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.

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put an excessive amount of lead in your pencil

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Wish that Mexicans would go ruin their own country instead of ruin ours.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.