After eating a lot of junk food begin to fear that i'm going to get diabetes.

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get bored so I fist myself for money

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in my mind prisms are called pink floyd.

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When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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I make it sound like i'm ordering for more than one person when I'm really only getting fast food for myself.

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Any time I hear someone speaking with an accent, I start mimicking that accident. –Ikka

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Love an outfit on others/mannequin, but hate it on me!

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I like to poo while smoking.

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getting a random wedgie when everybody is looking at me

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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eat chicken, lamb anything with bones with a knife and fork while avoiding using your hands because it makes them dirty

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Clenching your teeth subconsciously, then wondering why your teeth hurt so much afterwards.

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Think of the best come-backs ever, a few seconds after the time to use them would be.

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Making "X's" with your fingernail on bug bites to get rid of them.

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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wonder if anyone's watching you and try to seem like a decent person

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Sing really loudly and think you hear someone come in. yell "hello" for five minutes before singing again.

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When I'm scared in the shower sing

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Checking your phone for a text when you know you don't have one. Matt

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I always open up another tab on my browser, just in case I accidentally exit, so my computer can warn me that I will close 2 tabs.

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I precisley fold toilet paper , so that I can unfold it and use the other side

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sit on the toilet when taking a crap and play my iPod or laptop at the same time for something to do.

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After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

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blow nose. look at kleenex.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.