I think SpongeBob and Patrick are rude, inconsiderate a_holes. ... That's right, I'm an adult and I watch SpongeBob. lol

Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

When I'm scared in the shower sing

Reflection and deep thoughts about the origin of life and the universe when showering

Wait 2-3 seconds with anticipation whenever a baby falls for them to cry.

I precisley fold toilet paper , so that I can unfold it and use the other side

Checking your phone for a text when you know you don't have one. Matt

get bored so I fist myself for money

I always open up another tab on my browser, just in case I accidentally exit, so my computer can warn me that I will close 2 tabs.

eat chicken, lamb anything with bones with a knife and fork while avoiding using your hands because it makes them dirty

Making "X's" with your fingernail on bug bites to get rid of them.

I repeat (in my mind) the person's name that I want to dream about when I go to sleep

in my mind prisms are called pink floyd.

When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

sit on the toilet when taking a crap and play my iPod or laptop at the same time for something to do.

I click that I have read the Terms of Service although I haven't read sheit

when going to get a drink, i accidently pull out a bowl, or plate, later realizing what i did, i put it back, and get a cup

After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

I like to poo while smoking.

Sing really loudly and think you hear someone come in. yell "hello" for five minutes before singing again.

Think of the best come-backs ever, a few seconds after the time to use them would be.

blow nose. look at kleenex.

gh, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a long time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.