shag your mom

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Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

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When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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Find different ways to crack your knuckles when you're bored. (I have found 7 ways to crack a finger and I can crackj my hand back

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When I wanted to sit on chair or anything, I'll wipe them first, in case there is something sticked on them

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Love an outfit on others/mannequin, but hate it on me!

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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On YouTube when I go to like a comment or a video. I click the Like button 2 or 3 times just to make sure it went through.

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Think about awesome stuff that you could do (e.g beating up someone who steals your gf's purse or something) when listening to music

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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Skip peeing before bed because you dont feel like it, knowing that in about 15 minutes youre going to have to get back up because you wont be able to fall asleep until you go pee.

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wonder if anyone's watching you and try to seem like a decent person

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when going to get a drink, i accidently pull out a bowl, or plate, later realizing what i did, i put it back, and get a cup

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imagine squeezing your bladder in your hand when your peeing.

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Clenching your teeth subconsciously, then wondering why your teeth hurt so much afterwards.

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I am wearing ear buds even though I'm not actually listening to anything.

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When I watch porn,I sometimes pause the video and start looking something random. e.g. an unrelated article on Wikipedia.

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Seeing a cartoon character eat something makes me hungry for it even though it may not taste good in real life and I know that.

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Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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Everytime I get in my car at night, I turn the light on and check behind the back seats to see if there's anyone waiting for me. Then lock the doors when all is safe.

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Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

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When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.