I walk down the stairs sideways because I'm afraid something will get me.

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If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

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Wait 2-3 seconds with anticipation whenever a baby falls for them to cry.

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run up the stairs when its night so that the monsters dont catch you

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wondering if everyone else in the world can read your mind so you avoid thinking about specific things

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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Whenever I'm throwing trash down the garbage chute or into a dumpster, I all of the sudden am terrified that I accidentally threw out a valuable ring/my cell phone with the trash.

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use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

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I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

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being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

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I very carefully smell what I'm about to eat before I eat it, but I'd most likely eat it, even if I hadn't smelled it first.

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Wear hoods and sweatshirts in the middle of summer

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avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

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act like people from movies or shows just because my life is that boring

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After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

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When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

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during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.